Friday Night Blogging

Wow possums, it's been over a month. And I know you've missed me, so ... updates!
Fun-employment is over, yay! I've recently started a new (temp) job at Next Street, a merchant bank for inner-city small businesses (Google it). It's only been two weeks, but I'm really enjoying it so far. I've been learning a lot, mostly on my own. For example, to do one of my tasks, I had to learn very basic HTML. And best of all, I really feel like I'm making a difference, which for a temporary, entry-level, private-sector job is saying something. Sadly, I don't think I'm qualified for the permanent position, but I haven't given up hope yet. There's still one more DC fellowship to hear back from and maybe a fall campaign job (and then maybe a staff job), so the employment front is a lot brighter.

Yes, It Was All Part of a Plan

Slow-blogging, let's blame my lack of verbosity on that. Much as I would like to say the time-lag between posts is a conscious effort to only blog after deep thought and meditation, that would be lying. In truth, I can count the times I truly thought deeply before writing something on one hand. I blame Harvard. But actually, I blame my bad, procrastinatory habits. Leaving papers for the last minute (a constant theme here no doubt familiar to you dear constant readers) left me no choice but to think quickly, and often incompletely and shallowly.

But now, in my post-college wilderness of free time, I find myself looking back, and concluding I actually did cheat myself with all my procrastination. What did I gain by sacrificing thinking and writing time to refresh a web page just once more? Next to nothing. And honestly, though some friends evinced amazement that I could actually leave papers to the night before and then hammer out some BS that could still get good-enough-though-not-great grades, I feel I am facing the consequences of four years of that kind of work ethic. Which is why I sit here, feeling like I'm a welfare queen, albeit one with an Ivy League diploma, jobless, and increasingly, feeling so confused about my future. Which reminds me, I should get back to my Foreign Service personal narratives. Ciao possums.

1 AM Blogging

Ok possums, it's technically only 12:30, and wiser, more insightful words might be said (or typed) at a more reasonable time. But rationality hasn't been a strong suit lately. Still, it's spring, and with it comes green shoots. So, without further ado, the updates in my life: fellowship interviews have gone well and I should be hearing back in a few weeks. I made it to the next round of the foreign service officer process. This was the part I didn't pass last year, but it's been a year of great experiences (thanks HoCo!) that will make these "personal narratives" even more awesome (I hope) and get me to the oral interview part where I can wow them with my in-person charm and brilliance (and if that doesn't work, don't think I wouldn't sink to Monica Lewinsky levels). Also, routine gymming and M's ruthless insistence on healthy eating means I check myself out more in the mirror. Narcissistic? Maybe a little, but it sure beats my previous bouts of low self-esteem. Yes, so even though my comfy Widener job is ending this week, and don't know what exactly I'll be doing Monday, it's an interesting time in Isaac-land (long-lost friends, please come visit!). Plus all these essays I get to write means I'll have many opportunities for deep introspection. Stay tuned...

New Beginnings

It's been a long time possums, but I feel the mood to blog. I guess a 7-mile run will do that to you. Yes, you read right. Seven. Freakin. Miles. Now, J-fa and I are training for a half-marathon. Nothing like a little self-punishment to get all the anger out, right? Why am I angry, you ask? Well, some people may be happy to discover their ex took three whole weeks to find someone new. Me, I got angry. And now, I'll channel that anger towards something productive. I imagine it'll be a great feeling of accomplishment when I finish that 13th mile in May.

On the work front, it's been mostly positive. A few interviews for fellowships have gone well, so I'm hopeful come June I'll have some certainty in my life. But in the meanwhile, I'm enjoying this sense of rootlessness. I guess a little sunshine brings some optimism.

All good things must come to an end, right?

And the Oscar Goes To...

It's been a long time possums. First things first: AVATAR! (WARNING: SPOILER ALERT) It was such a good movie! Yes, the plot may have been a recycled amalgamation of every white-man-turns-native-and-saves-the-day-plus-don't-be-greedy-save-the-rainforest storyline, but the effects drove the point even deeper than I've ever felt. I seriously cried when they destroyed the Hometree.

Second. Real life sucks. Ok, the past week and a half has been a lot of fun with blockmates and friends, but I don't know if I went to spend the best years of my life paying my dues. On the other (and probably weightier) hand, I don't see any other way forward. So here I am. Working at Widener ILL, bumming off my friends' couch and goodwill, trying to find a job and an apartment, and generally trying to figure out this thing they call life. Oh Harvard, so many opportunities you've provided and yet so little I feel I've actually learned/gained. At least you haven't completely kicked me off the teat. Yet. In the meantime possums, if you know of any interesting job opportunity in this sucky economy fit for a liberal arts gov major, let me know, k?

Ciao

PS. If you're a Mass. resident, please vote Tuesday for Martha Coakley. Kthnxbai

Well, That Was Unproductive

A very unproductive two weeks. But it was vacation, after a very intense final semester of college, so I shouldn't feel too bad about slacking off, should I? So yes, I thoroughly enjoyed 2 weeks of laziness, TV watching (I now love the Golden Girls!), sleeping, and lots and lots of eating. And... I talked with J. A lot. I'll be going to NYC this weekend. Fingers crossed that absence and distance did make the hearts grow fonder. Now, off to find a job. And an apartment. (And lose the holiday blubber; as always, my resolution is to get that 6-pack back).
Ciao amores!

The End Is Nigh

Hello possums. We're approaching the end of college life, and though still largely murky, the future is starting to take some shape. I have one last final (it would be gov, of course) and then I'm off to New Mexico for the holidays. After some hasty near-decisions, I have (temporary) employment (yay?) at ILL for a few months. As of yet, still no housing other than couch-surfing (if I haven't come begging yet, keep an eye on your email). But, as I was quite upset that I might not be on this side of the country (and thus, be far, far away from J) for what could have been a long while, I'm very satisfied with this turn of events. I'm sure the pay will be crap, and the work is quite tedious, but I'll be near and among my dearest friends in the world, a 4 1/2-hour bus ride to NYC, and have the time I need to figure out where I truly want to be and what I truly want to do, and when I want to do it. I won't have all the stresses that come with being a Harvard student (of which, academics are only the beginning). So, I'm facing post-college life with a bright smile, as my HoCo Secret Holiday Bunny wrote: "Keep being friendly and fun, because there are too many grumpy people in this world." So I will be. Much love and Merry Christmas!

What is This Jubilee?

Exhilaration never felt so breathtaking. Undefined, unlabeled, unforeseen and still uncharted, but I will always choose adventure over complacency.

It's A Love Story

Well, maybe not "love" quite yet. I've had bad experiences when that emotion is expressed prematurely. But I spent an entire romantic hour with J after the Harvard-Yale. I've been with J before, at Yale 2 years ago, and so I expected to at least see him again. I didn't expect to kiss in a hammock under the starlit sky, cuddling with our rival Harvard-Yale sweatshirts. Will it go somewhere? Unclear. He's in New York and I'm here for another month, and then on God's good humor after. Is it worth chasing his lead? Definitely yes. He's the closest chance I think I've had to my perfect guy: my age, hot, smart, fun and funny, and so, so into me.

But let's not rush things.

Update:

J and I are going to Four: A Winter Formal. Squeal!