Long live the motherland. That's how la presidenta Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner ended one of her pre-election speeches. Which is a perfect segue into discussing the enchanting quirks of this paradoxical country.
Let's start with swine flu. (I'll insert here that I feel qualified to opine on this because I was a victim of the Harvard Commencement Swine Flu Epidemic in early June 2009.) Argentina has the 3rd largest amount of cases of swine flu and everyone is freaking out (I saw so many face-masks on my way to work today). They cancelled two weeks of school, adding them to the traditional winter recess, so kids here get the entire month off, lucky bastards!
Now let's move on to politics. Legislative "midterm" elections were held on Sunday and CFK and her husband (and alleged power behind the throne) Nestor Kirchner took a beating. Still, this country is far to into personalistic leadership (though as an Obamaphile, perhaps I'm not exactly one to talk). However, robust and sustained party-building would do a lot to strengthen political institutions and finish consolidating a still-young democracy. At least there hasn't been a coup. (Too soon?)
Oh yeah, and Buenos Aires is awesome. I rode a horse for the first time in my life; it was great! And slowly, ever so slowly, I feel myself becoming more of the person I want to be. Life is good.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Happy Pride
So, yes, I realize it's been Pride month all of June, but it technically commemorates yesterday, the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots in New York, where some angry queens got mad at hell at some cops for busting up their good times (and their faces) and weren't gonna take it anymore. Every gay has a "coming out" story, or coming to terms with "it" story. And coming out is a liberating, if frightening, process. We owe that to Stonewall, which sparked the gay "liberation" movement. I never quite understand how people can say gays aren't fighting for civil rights and that our fight doesn't belong in the pantheon of civil rights struggles, from abolition to suffrage to the civil rights movement of Dr. King & Co. What are we fighting for, rallying for, and yes, sometimes even dying for, if not to be treated as equal members of a free society, to be accepted for our nationalities, our religious creeds or lack thereof, the colors of our skin, and yes, the direction of our orientation. Human sexuality is just that, innately human, and unquestionably deserving of equality and justice under the law as a human right.
For those who know me, you are well aware it takes but a few moments within meeting me to at least guess that I'm gay. And while I struggle with striking the right balance on expressing it, I haven't struggled with that fact itself in many years, a blessing I am thankful for, for being secure in my sexuality gives me strength ... and energy to be insecure about other things. I thank God for a family that loves and accepts me, knowing my gayness is who I am, as immutable as my melanin-rich piel, even if some of them are still in a bit of denial.
So, counting my blessings, I choose to celebrate Pride this way. I pray that those still in the closet will find the inner strength and courage to come out, to your parents, to your family, to your friends, to your co-workers, and to live your life openly each and every day. This way, we will reach out to the society around us, make them aware of our presence, earn their tolerance, if not their acceptance, and thus, make it easier for the young men and women, trapped in pockets of deep repression and ignorance, to live their own lives with human dignity.
Oh yeah, and watch this episode of Kings, the best show NBC has ever stupidly canceled.
Con amor desde Argentina!
For those who know me, you are well aware it takes but a few moments within meeting me to at least guess that I'm gay. And while I struggle with striking the right balance on expressing it, I haven't struggled with that fact itself in many years, a blessing I am thankful for, for being secure in my sexuality gives me strength ... and energy to be insecure about other things. I thank God for a family that loves and accepts me, knowing my gayness is who I am, as immutable as my melanin-rich piel, even if some of them are still in a bit of denial.
So, counting my blessings, I choose to celebrate Pride this way. I pray that those still in the closet will find the inner strength and courage to come out, to your parents, to your family, to your friends, to your co-workers, and to live your life openly each and every day. This way, we will reach out to the society around us, make them aware of our presence, earn their tolerance, if not their acceptance, and thus, make it easier for the young men and women, trapped in pockets of deep repression and ignorance, to live their own lives with human dignity.
Oh yeah, and watch this episode of Kings, the best show NBC has ever stupidly canceled.
Con amor desde Argentina!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Third Time's the Charm, Right?
To become fluent in Spanish, that is. Starting my second week in Buenos Aires, which would make this my third summer in a row a Spanish-speaking country. What to report? I'm the oldest person in the DRCLAS group. Unsurprising for a "super-senior". What is surprising is that I should actually feel it. Not to belittle the amazing sophomores whom I've met, liked, and befriended, but hanging out with them sometimes makes me feel old. Perhaps it's because this is my 3rd international experience, and for many, this is only their first. And I'm also a little jealous of them; they have so much to do with their Harvard experience. I hope they take full advantage of it!
My host family is the absolute best I could've wished for: so nice and welcoming, yet also flexible and able to give me the distance a 22-year-old needs. And they both are great cooks!
And that leaves my internship. It just began today, but it wasn't exactly an auspicious start. I was in the office for an entire hour, where they showed me around, told me I'd be working in an entirely different part of the organization (institutional development) than what they had told me last week, and then gave me some reading material and saw me out the door. I also go in for only 4 days a week, 4 hours each day. Good thing I'm not relying on a paycheck for them, but I don't know what I'm going to do with all this free time. I also hope I do get something meaningful out of this, not just for my resume, but on a personal level as well.
Cautiously optimistic.
Ciao.
ps. I still need a place to stay in Cambridge (as close to Harvard as possible) for the month of August. A comfy piece of floor will do. Let me know :)
My host family is the absolute best I could've wished for: so nice and welcoming, yet also flexible and able to give me the distance a 22-year-old needs. And they both are great cooks!
And that leaves my internship. It just began today, but it wasn't exactly an auspicious start. I was in the office for an entire hour, where they showed me around, told me I'd be working in an entirely different part of the organization (institutional development) than what they had told me last week, and then gave me some reading material and saw me out the door. I also go in for only 4 days a week, 4 hours each day. Good thing I'm not relying on a paycheck for them, but I don't know what I'm going to do with all this free time. I also hope I do get something meaningful out of this, not just for my resume, but on a personal level as well.
Cautiously optimistic.
Ciao.
ps. I still need a place to stay in Cambridge (as close to Harvard as possible) for the month of August. A comfy piece of floor will do. Let me know :)
Friday, May 29, 2009
Ultimatum to Self
So many thoughts running through my head, but it’s after 5 and I have to be at work in 4 hours! Perhaps I’ve been reading too many “far-left” blogs tonight, but I’m enraged. I’m enraged at what the Republicans/Far Right are saying about Sonia Sotomayor as they try to stop her from sitting on the Supreme Court. I’m outraged that Ben Nelson gets to call himself a Democrat though he won’t support a public option for health insurance or direct student loans from the federal government. For that matter, I’m outraged at a lot of Senate Democrats who won’t back progressive legislation because it’s politically “inexpedient” and “it takes 60 votes to do anything”. Memo to Senate Democrats: It only takes 50 votes to pass something, you can make the Republicans filibuster (I’d really like to see them talk for hours on end about why we should continue to increase global carbon levels at unsustainable rates, or why universal healthcare is a bad thing, or how exactly we are going to pay to clean up their mess--God forbid we raise taxes!). Yes, you can. You just don’t want to, and I’m willing to bet it’s because you love your job more than the people you represent, you love the money you get from your corporate/rich donors more than the best interests of the other 99.9% of Americans. I’m outraged.
I’m also outraged at myself. I’m mad that I didn’t make it to the next round of the Foreign Service process. I can only blame myself. I’m mad that I let really good grades at the beginning of the semester slip through my fingers, turning in 2 papers days late and not studying for the finals until the last minute. I pulled through, thankfully, with still-decent grades. But I’m not willing to settle anymore, not willing to say “oh well, maybe next time Isaac” or “at least I got a B”. I’ll still have my fun, but I won’t pass off my responsibilities. I can’t. I still have ambitions that 4 years of Harvard haven’t beaten out of me. Sonia Sotomayor got summa cum laude at
I don’t have definite answers, concrete steps to take, but I know there is an answer, I know there is a path ahead. And I refuse to stay on the ground, licking my wounds, fearing more. My outrage at the circumstances around me can change little, thought I will do the little I can to change things. The outrage at myself is a consequence of the consequences of my choices and actions. Those choices I can do something about. I can make different ones. I will make different ones. I won’t procrastinate. I won’t start papers or study for tests at the last minute. I won’t skate by on “decent grades” anymore. I won’t sleep when I can make better use of my time. I won’t rest on my laurels or expect future ones to come to me. I will chase my dreams, as wildly, yet thoroughly as I did in high school (as oxymoronic as that may sound). I will dream bigger dreams and plan accordingly. I won’t waste any more time not making memories with my dearest friends. I won’t wait for a man to rescue me, but I won’t shirk from the chances to meet him. I will tell my family everyday that I love them.
No more excuses, no more “maybes” or “tomorrows” or “laters”. It has to, and will, start now. This is a blog post for me, but wherever you are, whenever you read this, hold me to this promise in any way you can, but know if you don’t, that I do, and will continue to. These are bold promises, and I can’t say exactly what changed inside, as I’ve had this internal counseling session so many times before. All I know is that something is different now. I’m different now. I only have a semester left at the best university in the world, and I don’t want to waste it like I mostly have the last 7. I will take the fullest advantage of the road I have at my feet, like I should have done since the beginning, instead of psyching myself out. The old Isaac is back, hopefully with the old drive, but with the new attitude. And it’s good to be back.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Two down...
...One to go. Finals, that is.
But, first, prayers for a speedy recovery to the victim of a shooting at Harvard this afternoon. As a friend was saying at dinner, with our budget being slashed, and now this, it makes us realize we aren't fully sheltered in Harvard bubble separated from the world.
Now, back to part of what I regurgitated for my American Foreign Policy final this morning. The New York Times reported that after meeting with the prime minister of Israel, President Obama (still can't get over that), has set something of a deadline for Iran to comply with his diplomatic overture.
Obviously, with regards to Iran, we've jumbled up the process, which perhaps is why we haven't made much progress with them. Soon after our embassy was hijacked in 1979, we cut diplomatic relations (now conducted through the Swiss), skipping negotiations and the threat of sanctions and went straight to sanctions. Fortunately, for us, Iraq under Saddam didn't like the Iranians much either, so during their decade-long war in the 80s, we didn't have to do much to Iran. But with Saddam now out of the picture, Iran's relative power in the region has only grown, and now they feel they can safely pursue nuclear technology, which is their right as a sovereign country under the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT) if used for peaceful purposes (really only to generate electricity) of course, the U.S. and especially Israel fear they mean to develop a nuclear weapon, which is not their right. Of course, to resolve the situation (allowing IAEA inspectors to verify there are no nukes, or getting Iran to abandon uranium enrichment completely) without war, we need to know what they want, but without negotiations (thanks to Bush's stubborness), we don't know. And again, the graf makes it seem Obama is putting the cart before the horse, creating a sense of urgency and threatening escalation before knowing what our acceptable terms are and according to polls, without public support for what could be a military encounter with Iran.
Of course, further down
But, first, prayers for a speedy recovery to the victim of a shooting at Harvard this afternoon. As a friend was saying at dinner, with our budget being slashed, and now this, it makes us realize we aren't fully sheltered in Harvard bubble separated from the world.
Now, back to part of what I regurgitated for my American Foreign Policy final this morning. The New York Times reported that after meeting with the prime minister of Israel, President Obama (still can't get over that), has set something of a deadline for Iran to comply with his diplomatic overture.
After a delicate Oval Office session with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel, President Obama said Monday that he wants a positive response from Iran to his diplomatic opening by the end of the year and is keeping open “range of steps, including much stronger international sanctions” if it fails to respond.As I learned in AmFoPo, the steps in "coercive diplomacy" are diplomacy -> threat of sanctions -> implementation of sanctions -> threat of force -> demonstrative use of force -> war, and for such diplomacy to be successful requires 4 things. 1) Absolute clarity of acceptable terms, 2) Sufficient domestic support, 3) Sense of urgency, and 4) The target state must be more fearful of escalation than you are. A state must also be willing and ready to carry out all threats made and diplomatic negotiations don't cease during escalation.
Obviously, with regards to Iran, we've jumbled up the process, which perhaps is why we haven't made much progress with them. Soon after our embassy was hijacked in 1979, we cut diplomatic relations (now conducted through the Swiss), skipping negotiations and the threat of sanctions and went straight to sanctions. Fortunately, for us, Iraq under Saddam didn't like the Iranians much either, so during their decade-long war in the 80s, we didn't have to do much to Iran. But with Saddam now out of the picture, Iran's relative power in the region has only grown, and now they feel they can safely pursue nuclear technology, which is their right as a sovereign country under the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT) if used for peaceful purposes (really only to generate electricity) of course, the U.S. and especially Israel fear they mean to develop a nuclear weapon, which is not their right. Of course, to resolve the situation (allowing IAEA inspectors to verify there are no nukes, or getting Iran to abandon uranium enrichment completely) without war, we need to know what they want, but without negotiations (thanks to Bush's stubborness), we don't know. And again, the graf makes it seem Obama is putting the cart before the horse, creating a sense of urgency and threatening escalation before knowing what our acceptable terms are and according to polls, without public support for what could be a military encounter with Iran.
Of course, further down
As for Iran, Mr. Obama said that he was keeping open “a range of steps, including much stronger international sanctions” for dealing with Iran if it proceeds with its nuclear program.But maybe the Israel Lobby had them bury that down there.He said he hoped for progress on his diplomatic opening to Tehran by year’s end but added that he saw no reason to set any artificial deadline.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Finals Stress and Gayness
[Sorry in advance for another sentimental, not too sensical post about stress.]
At my Lev library shift today, I had a minor panic attack. I have 3 finals in a row starting Monday (morning, afternoon, then Tuesday morning), and I'm nowhere near prepared for any of them. To complicate things, I had thought I'd be done with major HoCo responsibilities, but I've learned since formal that as co-chair, your responsibilities are never done. Fortunately, Jordan, my co-chair, is so awesome. But there are still those 3 finals and study guides to write, read, and memorize, and while I won't fail (knock on wood), after turning in papers 4 days late for 2 classes, I need to do well to bring up my GPA, which is horrendous right now. Other things I have to take care of, but have pushed off until after my finals include preparing for the arrival of 10 family members for commencement, figuring out how I'm going to survive in Argentina without going totally broke, and, of course, trying to make the most of the little time I have left with my friends who are graduating (really, where did senior year go?!)
But that's all peripheral to a deeper tempest within: a near identity crisis. Am I too gay? Too flamboyant? Too "femme"? Normatively, I know I shouldn't be offended by any of those things. But here I sit boyfriend-less, scouring M4M personals and striking out on dating sites (really more like hook-up sites), and I can't help but think that if I were less "gay", I'd have a boyfriend by now. And I debate whether my flamboyance is an act or a natural expression of who I truly am. Because I can turn it off when I'm at home, and don't want to attract too much attention to myself when I'm with the uber-religious grandparents/father. But here at Harvard, I get into a zone where I'm comfortable letting out the "oh honeys" and "girlfriends" and sashaying and other "stereotypically gay" verbal and physical expressions and mannerisms. But still, those are conscious, not unconscious, decisions. My friends harmlessly tease me when I do something "gay", but I don't think they always realize that I made a conscious choice to do it, most often to get a laugh out of them.
So I can "tune it down", but should I? Would I be happier, even if it helped me get a boyfriend? Because if the only reason he consented to go out with me was because I locked away the tiniest hint of femininity behind a "neutral" facade (because I can never be truly "masculine"), I'd always be on an edge with him, constantly policing my every thought, word, and action to not let anything "gay" slip. Could I live like that? Would it be worth it? I would say no, but neither am I completely happy with the present course of action. So, what to do?
At my Lev library shift today, I had a minor panic attack. I have 3 finals in a row starting Monday (morning, afternoon, then Tuesday morning), and I'm nowhere near prepared for any of them. To complicate things, I had thought I'd be done with major HoCo responsibilities, but I've learned since formal that as co-chair, your responsibilities are never done. Fortunately, Jordan, my co-chair, is so awesome. But there are still those 3 finals and study guides to write, read, and memorize, and while I won't fail (knock on wood), after turning in papers 4 days late for 2 classes, I need to do well to bring up my GPA, which is horrendous right now. Other things I have to take care of, but have pushed off until after my finals include preparing for the arrival of 10 family members for commencement, figuring out how I'm going to survive in Argentina without going totally broke, and, of course, trying to make the most of the little time I have left with my friends who are graduating (really, where did senior year go?!)
But that's all peripheral to a deeper tempest within: a near identity crisis. Am I too gay? Too flamboyant? Too "femme"? Normatively, I know I shouldn't be offended by any of those things. But here I sit boyfriend-less, scouring M4M personals and striking out on dating sites (really more like hook-up sites), and I can't help but think that if I were less "gay", I'd have a boyfriend by now. And I debate whether my flamboyance is an act or a natural expression of who I truly am. Because I can turn it off when I'm at home, and don't want to attract too much attention to myself when I'm with the uber-religious grandparents/father. But here at Harvard, I get into a zone where I'm comfortable letting out the "oh honeys" and "girlfriends" and sashaying and other "stereotypically gay" verbal and physical expressions and mannerisms. But still, those are conscious, not unconscious, decisions. My friends harmlessly tease me when I do something "gay", but I don't think they always realize that I made a conscious choice to do it, most often to get a laugh out of them.
So I can "tune it down", but should I? Would I be happier, even if it helped me get a boyfriend? Because if the only reason he consented to go out with me was because I locked away the tiniest hint of femininity behind a "neutral" facade (because I can never be truly "masculine"), I'd always be on an edge with him, constantly policing my every thought, word, and action to not let anything "gay" slip. Could I live like that? Would it be worth it? I would say no, but neither am I completely happy with the present course of action. So, what to do?
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Welcome to My Party
Vindicated, validated, and verified - Leverett is the best house ever.
HoCo put on an awesome formal (over 500 people showed up, more than twice as many as the previous most-successful formal). The praise has been overflowing, and quite frankly, we deserve it. We put in so much sweat and tears (and yes, sometimes blood), to prove that we had enough resources, creativity, vision, and dedication to make an in-house formal even better than it would have been at Top of the Hub. Who can complain about absolute classiness and a $15 open bar? Was it perfect, of course not. But it was damn near close, and for as long as I keep my sanity, I will remember Casablanca.
Here's looking at you, Lev.
HoCo put on an awesome formal (over 500 people showed up, more than twice as many as the previous most-successful formal). The praise has been overflowing, and quite frankly, we deserve it. We put in so much sweat and tears (and yes, sometimes blood), to prove that we had enough resources, creativity, vision, and dedication to make an in-house formal even better than it would have been at Top of the Hub. Who can complain about absolute classiness and a $15 open bar? Was it perfect, of course not. But it was damn near close, and for as long as I keep my sanity, I will remember Casablanca.
Here's looking at you, Lev.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Super Procrastinated
I turned in a gov paper 4 days late. We'll see what the penalty is. I'm currently writing a paper due at 4 this afternoon, with only one source entirely read....5 years ago or so. French homework I've put off for two days, as well as missing three days of class in a row and totally screwing up the oral final, and not studying for the written final in 5 days. Plus, I have 3 3-hour finals in 2 days.
What can I focus on? Formal. After a kind of rocky start to the semester, a financial flop at the 80s, and months-old controversy surrounding formal, I am determined to make Casablanca the best formal Leverett has ever seen. Now if only crises would stop popping up every few hours. Oh well, character through adversity, I guess.
Bright spot - My family's coming to Harvard for the first time in less than a month!
What can I focus on? Formal. After a kind of rocky start to the semester, a financial flop at the 80s, and months-old controversy surrounding formal, I am determined to make Casablanca the best formal Leverett has ever seen. Now if only crises would stop popping up every few hours. Oh well, character through adversity, I guess.
Bright spot - My family's coming to Harvard for the first time in less than a month!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Failure
So this is what failure feels like. Last night's 80s Dance did not go as well as it usually has, and true, there were a lot of extenuating factors beyond HoCo's control (economic calamity, pre-frosh born after 1989), but as co-chair, I feel I bear, or should bear, a lot of the blame. I feel like a failure.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Summer Plans, 2009 Edition
Mr. World Traveler is at it again; I'm going to do an internship in Buenos Aires, Argentina! Made possible by the David Rockefeller Center for Latin American Studies (DRCLAS) and the Office of International Programs (OIP). I'm getting $3900 in grants, woot!
I'll be working with CIPPEC, a non-profit, think-tank-like organization focusing on "growth and equity." Tiniest drawback is that I'll have to learn Argentine Spanish. I think this will be a fabulous opportunity, and hopefully will help me get into the foreign service.
I'll be working with CIPPEC, a non-profit, think-tank-like organization focusing on "growth and equity." Tiniest drawback is that I'll have to learn Argentine Spanish. I think this will be a fabulous opportunity, and hopefully will help me get into the foreign service.
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