It's A Love Story

Well, maybe not "love" quite yet. I've had bad experiences when that emotion is expressed prematurely. But I spent an entire romantic hour with J after the Harvard-Yale. I've been with J before, at Yale 2 years ago, and so I expected to at least see him again. I didn't expect to kiss in a hammock under the starlit sky, cuddling with our rival Harvard-Yale sweatshirts. Will it go somewhere? Unclear. He's in New York and I'm here for another month, and then on God's good humor after. Is it worth chasing his lead? Definitely yes. He's the closest chance I think I've had to my perfect guy: my age, hot, smart, fun and funny, and so, so into me.

But let's not rush things.

Narnia Exists!

A physicist explaining the multiverse!

I'm Not Takin' No Calls 'Cuz I'll Be Dancing

Such a common refrain, but boys do suck. I know there's someone out there, and I just have to find him. It is harder for gay guys, and maybe it's just wishful thinking, but I think it'll be better/easier outside of Harvard.

Cool Obama

Could any other president have a rapper perform a song about Alexander Hamilton at the White House?

Slutty Farmer

Once again, I find myself doing crucial homework at the last minute, after wasting so much time procrasturbating and not fulfilling commitments to my work and extracurriculars. I rationalize it with arguments like "Oh, I had such a tough last week, with 3 midterms and 2 papers." Obviously, not dropping the ball on those means, hey, willpower, let's take a vacation this week. But I didn't even do my best on those big assignments because I'd been dropping the ball all semester, academically, extracurricularly, and employmentally.

How does it get better? It has to, if I'm going to have anything resembling a successful life. But I don't know where or how to go from here: to go from a serial procrastinator/flake to someone on top of his shit. And I'm not delving more deeply into this dilemma. Instead, I'm orienting my life around the next party (Halloween), planning my costume (slutty farmer), and obsessing over (another) straight crush.

Help?

Embrace the Inner Junkie

Political junkie, not, you know, crack.

As part of Hell Week 2009, I attended a job fair with different government (mostly federal) agencies. And I wonder why I thought anything else would be my calling. I'm not the deepest of thinkers. I'm not sure I can call myself a wonk. I don't know all the contours and crevices of every (or even one) public policy. But I love government. I love the work of government. Whether it's political or technocratic, I think it truly is my calling. So, after that encouraging episode of handing out resumes (although not quite like they were going out of style; I was a little more circumspect), I may have caught my second wind in the job hunt. Moral of the story: follow your dreams, people!

So, 3 midterms and one paper down, with one final paper to go, the end is in sight. This week wasn't perfect as far as the Sisyphean task of becoming a more dependable person, but considering the crushing burden I've felt since last Thursday, I would deem it a comeback.

Also, procrasturbation is my new favorite word. Thanks HarvardFML.

Decisions

Halfway through my final semester at Harvard, and I've finally come to some decisions about post-college life. First, I wasn't cut out for management consulting. Nor do I really want to do actual business stuff. So also considering I'm so not interested in academia, my only other option is ... government. So, plan B until I get to give the Foreign Service a second try is to stay on the East Coast (Boston, NYC, or DC) and give away my resume like it was going out of style. Of course, I'll need a place to stay in one of those cities....

3

I'm starting to fear I'm not really cut out for management consulting. And as the State Department already rejected me, I'm not sure how I feel about other government jobs. Fortunately, with all my job (and homework) woes, I have some bright side to look forward too.

Well, At Least There's That

One thing is finally consistently improving in my life. My gaydar. Sadly it doesn't mean I'm not attracted to straight men anymore, but I can definitely sniff out the closet-cases. Go me!

I Should've Majored In...

Philosophy, or Literature, or History, or History and Literature. Basically, I should've been a humanities concentrator, because though I love politics, the ideas and theories behind political science can't compare with Freud and Foucault.