Showing posts with label gay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay. Show all posts
Friday, September 25, 2009
Well, At Least There's That
One thing is finally consistently improving in my life. My gaydar. Sadly it doesn't mean I'm not attracted to straight men anymore, but I can definitely sniff out the closet-cases. Go me!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Crazy Bitches!
Gay Argentina has proven to be pretty damn similar to gay America, unfortunately. The story is not fit for the interwebs, so let me know if you want to hear it when I get back to Boston in 2 weeks (eek!). This summer has flown by, and though I don't have much to show for it in professional terms, it's been a very informative and transformative time.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Happy Pride
So, yes, I realize it's been Pride month all of June, but it technically commemorates yesterday, the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots in New York, where some angry queens got mad at hell at some cops for busting up their good times (and their faces) and weren't gonna take it anymore. Every gay has a "coming out" story, or coming to terms with "it" story. And coming out is a liberating, if frightening, process. We owe that to Stonewall, which sparked the gay "liberation" movement. I never quite understand how people can say gays aren't fighting for civil rights and that our fight doesn't belong in the pantheon of civil rights struggles, from abolition to suffrage to the civil rights movement of Dr. King & Co. What are we fighting for, rallying for, and yes, sometimes even dying for, if not to be treated as equal members of a free society, to be accepted for our nationalities, our religious creeds or lack thereof, the colors of our skin, and yes, the direction of our orientation. Human sexuality is just that, innately human, and unquestionably deserving of equality and justice under the law as a human right.
For those who know me, you are well aware it takes but a few moments within meeting me to at least guess that I'm gay. And while I struggle with striking the right balance on expressing it, I haven't struggled with that fact itself in many years, a blessing I am thankful for, for being secure in my sexuality gives me strength ... and energy to be insecure about other things. I thank God for a family that loves and accepts me, knowing my gayness is who I am, as immutable as my melanin-rich piel, even if some of them are still in a bit of denial.
So, counting my blessings, I choose to celebrate Pride this way. I pray that those still in the closet will find the inner strength and courage to come out, to your parents, to your family, to your friends, to your co-workers, and to live your life openly each and every day. This way, we will reach out to the society around us, make them aware of our presence, earn their tolerance, if not their acceptance, and thus, make it easier for the young men and women, trapped in pockets of deep repression and ignorance, to live their own lives with human dignity.
Oh yeah, and watch this episode of Kings, the best show NBC has ever stupidly canceled.
Con amor desde Argentina!
For those who know me, you are well aware it takes but a few moments within meeting me to at least guess that I'm gay. And while I struggle with striking the right balance on expressing it, I haven't struggled with that fact itself in many years, a blessing I am thankful for, for being secure in my sexuality gives me strength ... and energy to be insecure about other things. I thank God for a family that loves and accepts me, knowing my gayness is who I am, as immutable as my melanin-rich piel, even if some of them are still in a bit of denial.
So, counting my blessings, I choose to celebrate Pride this way. I pray that those still in the closet will find the inner strength and courage to come out, to your parents, to your family, to your friends, to your co-workers, and to live your life openly each and every day. This way, we will reach out to the society around us, make them aware of our presence, earn their tolerance, if not their acceptance, and thus, make it easier for the young men and women, trapped in pockets of deep repression and ignorance, to live their own lives with human dignity.
Oh yeah, and watch this episode of Kings, the best show NBC has ever stupidly canceled.
Con amor desde Argentina!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Finals Stress and Gayness
[Sorry in advance for another sentimental, not too sensical post about stress.]
At my Lev library shift today, I had a minor panic attack. I have 3 finals in a row starting Monday (morning, afternoon, then Tuesday morning), and I'm nowhere near prepared for any of them. To complicate things, I had thought I'd be done with major HoCo responsibilities, but I've learned since formal that as co-chair, your responsibilities are never done. Fortunately, Jordan, my co-chair, is so awesome. But there are still those 3 finals and study guides to write, read, and memorize, and while I won't fail (knock on wood), after turning in papers 4 days late for 2 classes, I need to do well to bring up my GPA, which is horrendous right now. Other things I have to take care of, but have pushed off until after my finals include preparing for the arrival of 10 family members for commencement, figuring out how I'm going to survive in Argentina without going totally broke, and, of course, trying to make the most of the little time I have left with my friends who are graduating (really, where did senior year go?!)
But that's all peripheral to a deeper tempest within: a near identity crisis. Am I too gay? Too flamboyant? Too "femme"? Normatively, I know I shouldn't be offended by any of those things. But here I sit boyfriend-less, scouring M4M personals and striking out on dating sites (really more like hook-up sites), and I can't help but think that if I were less "gay", I'd have a boyfriend by now. And I debate whether my flamboyance is an act or a natural expression of who I truly am. Because I can turn it off when I'm at home, and don't want to attract too much attention to myself when I'm with the uber-religious grandparents/father. But here at Harvard, I get into a zone where I'm comfortable letting out the "oh honeys" and "girlfriends" and sashaying and other "stereotypically gay" verbal and physical expressions and mannerisms. But still, those are conscious, not unconscious, decisions. My friends harmlessly tease me when I do something "gay", but I don't think they always realize that I made a conscious choice to do it, most often to get a laugh out of them.
So I can "tune it down", but should I? Would I be happier, even if it helped me get a boyfriend? Because if the only reason he consented to go out with me was because I locked away the tiniest hint of femininity behind a "neutral" facade (because I can never be truly "masculine"), I'd always be on an edge with him, constantly policing my every thought, word, and action to not let anything "gay" slip. Could I live like that? Would it be worth it? I would say no, but neither am I completely happy with the present course of action. So, what to do?
At my Lev library shift today, I had a minor panic attack. I have 3 finals in a row starting Monday (morning, afternoon, then Tuesday morning), and I'm nowhere near prepared for any of them. To complicate things, I had thought I'd be done with major HoCo responsibilities, but I've learned since formal that as co-chair, your responsibilities are never done. Fortunately, Jordan, my co-chair, is so awesome. But there are still those 3 finals and study guides to write, read, and memorize, and while I won't fail (knock on wood), after turning in papers 4 days late for 2 classes, I need to do well to bring up my GPA, which is horrendous right now. Other things I have to take care of, but have pushed off until after my finals include preparing for the arrival of 10 family members for commencement, figuring out how I'm going to survive in Argentina without going totally broke, and, of course, trying to make the most of the little time I have left with my friends who are graduating (really, where did senior year go?!)
But that's all peripheral to a deeper tempest within: a near identity crisis. Am I too gay? Too flamboyant? Too "femme"? Normatively, I know I shouldn't be offended by any of those things. But here I sit boyfriend-less, scouring M4M personals and striking out on dating sites (really more like hook-up sites), and I can't help but think that if I were less "gay", I'd have a boyfriend by now. And I debate whether my flamboyance is an act or a natural expression of who I truly am. Because I can turn it off when I'm at home, and don't want to attract too much attention to myself when I'm with the uber-religious grandparents/father. But here at Harvard, I get into a zone where I'm comfortable letting out the "oh honeys" and "girlfriends" and sashaying and other "stereotypically gay" verbal and physical expressions and mannerisms. But still, those are conscious, not unconscious, decisions. My friends harmlessly tease me when I do something "gay", but I don't think they always realize that I made a conscious choice to do it, most often to get a laugh out of them.
So I can "tune it down", but should I? Would I be happier, even if it helped me get a boyfriend? Because if the only reason he consented to go out with me was because I locked away the tiniest hint of femininity behind a "neutral" facade (because I can never be truly "masculine"), I'd always be on an edge with him, constantly policing my every thought, word, and action to not let anything "gay" slip. Could I live like that? Would it be worth it? I would say no, but neither am I completely happy with the present course of action. So, what to do?
Friday, March 27, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
If This Isn't Love, Then Tell Me What It Is
L-O-V-E? More like an obsession, or many. Unhealthy? Most likely. Going to end anytime soon? Most likely not. Again, head-over-heels obsessed with presumably straight men. It's not that I'm not attracted to gay men, it's that the gay men I am attracted to seem to not be attracted to me. It's a sad, sad conundrum.
In happier news, this week saw a significant improvement in self-discipline. After being so disgusted at myself for sleeping until 1pm on Monday, I've been awake by 9:30 most days; more than enough time to get to class. Now, my goals are to not waste my weekends. Because with all my HoCo responsibilities (which I love), I need to really structure how I use my time. Since my days are filled with class and work (I have 6 hours of class on Thursdays, ew), and my evenings largely are devoted to extracurriculars, the weekends are the biggest chunk of time I have to do my mountains of reading for this semester and, eventually, work on papers. Indeed, after my last semester was so surprisingly academically successful, I can't help but wonder what kind of grades I'll get if I actually start papers sooner than the day before they're due.
It helps that I have external incentives for maintaining interest in my classes and keeping up with the work . For Gov 1790: American Foreign Policy, the fact that this is basically what I hope my job will be (assuming the FSOT on Wednesday went well, I think it did) is a damn good reason to do the reading (I actually really like one of our books, can't put it down!) and write good papers, starting with rough drafts and seeking TF advice.
For Gov 1295: Comparative Politics of Latin America, though the material is interesting and taking another Latin America-themed course last semester prepared me well, the biggest reason for me to go to class is the extremely hot TF, who set off my gaydar when I saw him the first day of shopping period. That's usually a bad thing, unfortunately, because I have notoriously bad gaydar, but I'm foolishly optimistic still. We'll see how it plays out.
French is getting more difficult, but I'm still committed to learning it. I purposely blocked my schedule around my fall section because I have the best TF.
And my last class is a gen ed (called the Core at Harvard), Literature and Arts A-17 - Childhood: It's Literature, History, and Philosophy. Basically, we analyze many of the books I read as a child. How awesome is it that my favorite childhood book, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, is on the syllabus for this class?! Unfortunately, there are a ton of other books that I'm too poor to buy right now, so I'm quite behind on the readings. But as far required lit classes go, I think I ended up with a pretty good option.
So class and HoCo has been my life the past couple of weeks. My birthday weekend was a brief, but very welcome interlude. Next weekend I'll be senior staff for Harvard Model Congress, a U.S. government simulation for high school students. My first paper (AmFoPo) is due shortly thereafter. Busy, busy. But please, friends, feel free to distract me. Above all, you give my life meaning. And that's love. Happy Valentine's Day!
In happier news, this week saw a significant improvement in self-discipline. After being so disgusted at myself for sleeping until 1pm on Monday, I've been awake by 9:30 most days; more than enough time to get to class. Now, my goals are to not waste my weekends. Because with all my HoCo responsibilities (which I love), I need to really structure how I use my time. Since my days are filled with class and work (I have 6 hours of class on Thursdays, ew), and my evenings largely are devoted to extracurriculars, the weekends are the biggest chunk of time I have to do my mountains of reading for this semester and, eventually, work on papers. Indeed, after my last semester was so surprisingly academically successful, I can't help but wonder what kind of grades I'll get if I actually start papers sooner than the day before they're due.
It helps that I have external incentives for maintaining interest in my classes and keeping up with the work . For Gov 1790: American Foreign Policy, the fact that this is basically what I hope my job will be (assuming the FSOT on Wednesday went well, I think it did) is a damn good reason to do the reading (I actually really like one of our books, can't put it down!) and write good papers, starting with rough drafts and seeking TF advice.
For Gov 1295: Comparative Politics of Latin America, though the material is interesting and taking another Latin America-themed course last semester prepared me well, the biggest reason for me to go to class is the extremely hot TF, who set off my gaydar when I saw him the first day of shopping period. That's usually a bad thing, unfortunately, because I have notoriously bad gaydar, but I'm foolishly optimistic still. We'll see how it plays out.
French is getting more difficult, but I'm still committed to learning it. I purposely blocked my schedule around my fall section because I have the best TF.
And my last class is a gen ed (called the Core at Harvard), Literature and Arts A-17 - Childhood: It's Literature, History, and Philosophy. Basically, we analyze many of the books I read as a child. How awesome is it that my favorite childhood book, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, is on the syllabus for this class?! Unfortunately, there are a ton of other books that I'm too poor to buy right now, so I'm quite behind on the readings. But as far required lit classes go, I think I ended up with a pretty good option.
So class and HoCo has been my life the past couple of weeks. My birthday weekend was a brief, but very welcome interlude. Next weekend I'll be senior staff for Harvard Model Congress, a U.S. government simulation for high school students. My first paper (AmFoPo) is due shortly thereafter. Busy, busy. But please, friends, feel free to distract me. Above all, you give my life meaning. And that's love. Happy Valentine's Day!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Thank You Dan Savage!
Saddlebacking: sad•dle•back•ing \ˈsa-dəl-ˈba-kiŋ\ vb [fr. Saddleback Church] (2009): the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities
After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she’s saving herself for marriage.
After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she’s saving herself for marriage.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
On Progress, Resolutions, and Faith
I guess I should have written a "resolutions'' post 5 days ago. Oh well. The only resolution I made this year was to stay more in touch with friends and family members. I thought this might be the only resolution I could keep. I've made more resolutions in past years, only to cast them aside weeks, if not days into the new year. Of course, this blog counts as one of the methods of communication, but I do intend on Facebooking, MySpace-ing, calling, and yes, old-fashioned letters via snail-mail. I always like getting letters in the mail.
I wanted to make a resolution about exercising, but I figured I'd just break it. But then Connie told me about StickK, a website that helps you keep your commitment by betting money on yourself! So, I signed a contract that I will go to the gym three times a week for 12 weeks, or else $5 will go to the George W. Bush Presidential Library for each week I miss my goal. Since not one cent of my money will go to that criminal idiot, I think I might actually keep this goal!
And while those are good plans, I realized something when I was in Tucson with my dad the last couple of days of break. I need to reconnect with my faith. Going into my complicated history with religion would take longer than this one post, but suffice it to say that growing up in a strict, uber-religious Pentecostal family is not kind on a gay kid. As I started to grow up, I rebelled against my church's doctrine, but I also felt tremendous guilt and fear that my gayness was a sin and I was going to hell for it. It was finally when I was about 15, after going through a sort of traumatic experience in high school, that I understood that God made me gay for a reason. And it wasn't so I would spend eternity in hellfire, but because who I am, who I'm attracted to, who I want love and spend the rest of my life with is not a sin, because sin requires a choice, and I know I never had a choice in the matter.
Still, even though I had reconciled my sexuality with my relationship with God, I still didn't feel comfortable in church, listening to the pastor sermonizing away about the evils of the world that I didn't see the way he did. When I got to college, with no grandparents calling every Wednesday and Sunday asking why I hadn't gone to church, I quit going. And my relationship with God suffered. Yes, I still believe in God. There may be quite a bit of atheists at Harvard, but I've seen and felt too much in my life to not believe in Him. And as that relationship suffered, other areas of my life started to as well. Is it entirely logical that this would happen? No, I'm sure a mental health professional could comb through every event in my life and come up with a more reasonable explanation for why my grades, my discipline, my willpower, my inner strength and integrity all plummeted after the first semester of freshman year. But faith defies logic, defies reason. And to my heart and spirit, it makes sense in its own way.
Does this mean that I'm suddenly going to give up all my "vices" and become St. Isaac the Pure? Highly unlikely. But it does mean I start to act more Christ-like, with more love and more humility, to give more thought before I speak or act, to carefully weigh the choices before me. It means that I watch my language more, that I try to stop letting my desires get in the way of my dreams, and that I choose the path of righteousness, with prayer and meditation on His Word.
This post might come as a surprise to many friends and acquaintances that read this blog. I'm not known to be much of a practicing Christian here at Harvard. But these thoughts have always been in me, sometimes bursting into my consciousness as I try to sleep. And I hope that by publicly declaring that being a Christian is just much, if not more, a part of me as being gay, that I will be able to be a better friend and through that, I will show His love.
I wanted to make a resolution about exercising, but I figured I'd just break it. But then Connie told me about StickK, a website that helps you keep your commitment by betting money on yourself! So, I signed a contract that I will go to the gym three times a week for 12 weeks, or else $5 will go to the George W. Bush Presidential Library for each week I miss my goal. Since not one cent of my money will go to that criminal idiot, I think I might actually keep this goal!
And while those are good plans, I realized something when I was in Tucson with my dad the last couple of days of break. I need to reconnect with my faith. Going into my complicated history with religion would take longer than this one post, but suffice it to say that growing up in a strict, uber-religious Pentecostal family is not kind on a gay kid. As I started to grow up, I rebelled against my church's doctrine, but I also felt tremendous guilt and fear that my gayness was a sin and I was going to hell for it. It was finally when I was about 15, after going through a sort of traumatic experience in high school, that I understood that God made me gay for a reason. And it wasn't so I would spend eternity in hellfire, but because who I am, who I'm attracted to, who I want love and spend the rest of my life with is not a sin, because sin requires a choice, and I know I never had a choice in the matter.
Still, even though I had reconciled my sexuality with my relationship with God, I still didn't feel comfortable in church, listening to the pastor sermonizing away about the evils of the world that I didn't see the way he did. When I got to college, with no grandparents calling every Wednesday and Sunday asking why I hadn't gone to church, I quit going. And my relationship with God suffered. Yes, I still believe in God. There may be quite a bit of atheists at Harvard, but I've seen and felt too much in my life to not believe in Him. And as that relationship suffered, other areas of my life started to as well. Is it entirely logical that this would happen? No, I'm sure a mental health professional could comb through every event in my life and come up with a more reasonable explanation for why my grades, my discipline, my willpower, my inner strength and integrity all plummeted after the first semester of freshman year. But faith defies logic, defies reason. And to my heart and spirit, it makes sense in its own way.
Does this mean that I'm suddenly going to give up all my "vices" and become St. Isaac the Pure? Highly unlikely. But it does mean I start to act more Christ-like, with more love and more humility, to give more thought before I speak or act, to carefully weigh the choices before me. It means that I watch my language more, that I try to stop letting my desires get in the way of my dreams, and that I choose the path of righteousness, with prayer and meditation on His Word.
This post might come as a surprise to many friends and acquaintances that read this blog. I'm not known to be much of a practicing Christian here at Harvard. But these thoughts have always been in me, sometimes bursting into my consciousness as I try to sleep. And I hope that by publicly declaring that being a Christian is just much, if not more, a part of me as being gay, that I will be able to be a better friend and through that, I will show His love.
Monday, December 15, 2008
I Think It's Broken
My gaydar that is. Apparently my new crush really is straight. Why do I keep falling for straight men? Oh well, something else for me to work on.
In other news, one paper down (and 3 days late), one to go. Don't know how this one will go though, because my crush will be at a party tonight and I really want to go (ok I still have my doubts about his sexuality, sue me). Plus, election victory parties are always fun, especially when the other guy is such a douche. I'll let you all know how it turns out. In the meantime, I want a boyfriend for Christmas. Kthnxbai
UPDATE
F>>M Victory Party = total win, and I had way to many glasses (or Solo cups) of champagne. Yay for impromptu Monday night dance parties (I'm looking at you Nick Noyer)!!!
In other news, one paper down (and 3 days late), one to go. Don't know how this one will go though, because my crush will be at a party tonight and I really want to go (ok I still have my doubts about his sexuality, sue me). Plus, election victory parties are always fun, especially when the other guy is such a douche. I'll let you all know how it turns out. In the meantime, I want a boyfriend for Christmas. Kthnxbai
UPDATE
F>>M Victory Party = total win, and I had way to many glasses (or Solo cups) of champagne. Yay for impromptu Monday night dance parties (I'm looking at you Nick Noyer)!!!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
T-minus 2 Weeks
I have two weeks left until I go home for Christmas. Unfortunately, I have a midterm and two papers due before I leave and I did not get any work done over Thanksgiving break, so it won't be a sprint, more of a slow, burdensome trudge till the end. The worst part, it's not even the end of the semester. Because of Harvard's retarded schedule, I have to come back right after New Years to study for and take final exams.
Personally (as in psycho-emotionally), I'm sort of in a rough patch right now. It takes a lot for me to say that because I know friends and at least one family member reads this blog. But if there's one thing I did learn from my semester off, it's that it's ok to admit to being weak, to needing help. Doing so doesn't diminish me as a person, nor detract from past and future accomplishments. I fear it's a return to exactly one year ago, with missing classes and waiting until the last possible minute to finish assignments. But the fear isn't enough of a deterrent, and ironically, neither is a positive result (like good grades) for poor work. It just creates a dangerous feedback mechanism, where I push the boundary of procrastination, somehow manage to pull of a 7-page paper in one night, get rewarded for it, and try to push it even further. After some success with this freshman and sophomore year, I pushed a little too hard junior fall and got burned horribly. So what's the plan for the next two weeks, with major homework, trying to earn some money, pressing extracurricular commitments, and not to mention some relationship issues all vying for attention? I don't have a fucking clue. And it scares me.
On a lighter note, gay celebrities and allies made this awesome video about Proposition 8 (or as I like to think of it, Prop H8). Enjoy!
Personally (as in psycho-emotionally), I'm sort of in a rough patch right now. It takes a lot for me to say that because I know friends and at least one family member reads this blog. But if there's one thing I did learn from my semester off, it's that it's ok to admit to being weak, to needing help. Doing so doesn't diminish me as a person, nor detract from past and future accomplishments. I fear it's a return to exactly one year ago, with missing classes and waiting until the last possible minute to finish assignments. But the fear isn't enough of a deterrent, and ironically, neither is a positive result (like good grades) for poor work. It just creates a dangerous feedback mechanism, where I push the boundary of procrastination, somehow manage to pull of a 7-page paper in one night, get rewarded for it, and try to push it even further. After some success with this freshman and sophomore year, I pushed a little too hard junior fall and got burned horribly. So what's the plan for the next two weeks, with major homework, trying to earn some money, pressing extracurricular commitments, and not to mention some relationship issues all vying for attention? I don't have a fucking clue. And it scares me.
On a lighter note, gay celebrities and allies made this awesome video about Proposition 8 (or as I like to think of it, Prop H8). Enjoy!
See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Why I Love Disney Movies
I went to see High School Musical 3 today. It made absolutely no sense, but was still so good. So here are my reasons for loving Disney movies:
1. The songs are so catchy!
2. Happy endings for everyone!
3. Zac Efron, please marry me
1. The songs are so catchy!
2. Happy endings for everyone!
3. Zac Efron, please marry me
Monday, August 11, 2008
Two Words: Project. Runway.
It's back!! I have been a devotee of PR since the first season, my senior year of high school. My (still) best friend and I would spend many a Wednesday evening on the phone dissing on dresses and laughing at the insane Jay McCarroll. Indeed "Sparkles!" "I din't take the bitch's dye" and "I'm a winna" are still some of our favorite retorts to each other.
During the 3rd season I discovered a wickedly witty blog, Project Rungay; you should definitely check it out. And seriously, fuck the Weinstein Brothers for moving PR to freakin' Lifetime. I doubt it'll be the same without Bravo. You can catch the episodes on YouTube.
Auf Weidersehen!
During the 3rd season I discovered a wickedly witty blog, Project Rungay; you should definitely check it out. And seriously, fuck the Weinstein Brothers for moving PR to freakin' Lifetime. I doubt it'll be the same without Bravo. You can catch the episodes on YouTube.
Auf Weidersehen!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
I'm Back!
Wow, it's been a while since I've posted, and I know my readers (maybe all 3 of you) have missed me. So, quick re-cap. I spent the 4th of July weekend in Madrid, finally meeting up with good friends I met last summer in Madrid. It was a hot drunken mess, I assure you. And, best of all, it was the finale of gay pride week! As one of only 6 countries where gay marriage is legal and a top tourist destination, I'd be willing to bet Spain's Pride parade was the fruitiest, funnest one of all! And I shouldn't have worried about comparing last year (when Madrid hosted EuroPride 2007) and this year; they were both incredible. So some pics (stolen from my friend's Facebook album b/c I'm too cheap to buy a camara).
Hot men.
Hot women.
Hot friends.
Hot drag queen?
So I'm back in Barcelona and the friend situation has improved (meaning I finally have some in this puta madre ciudad). I foresee many more drunken evenings, and being in amazing Spain in the summer, why have it any other way?
Hot men.
Hot women.
Hot friends.
Hot drag queen?
So Madrid was a blast. And the following weekend, I got a little crazy and went to Pamplona with my Madrid friends for the Sanfermines festival, the draw of which is the running of the bulls. Of course, I didn't run (I choose life), but it was a lot of fun nonetheless. The downside, not having a place to sleep, and it was sooo cold.
So I'm back in Barcelona and the friend situation has improved (meaning I finally have some in this puta madre ciudad). I foresee many more drunken evenings, and being in amazing Spain in the summer, why have it any other way?
Hasta pronto!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
You Can't Make Me Straight!
So here goes another rant. From this Slate article. The point of the article is that, as many of us knew, being gay is not a "lifestyle choice." Science has discovered that well it may not be genetic, it is natural, has natural, uncontrollable causes, and thus, makes it an immutable characteristic, worthy of the government's protection against discrimination.
But the author, brilliantly, gets at something else. The science is increasingly pointing at hormonal factors in the mothers womb. Hence the title "The gay culture war is about to turn chemical." Some of the religious right is strongly advancing the idea that if you can chemically alter a fetus so that it won't grow up to be gay, then it should become standard medical procedure. Without delving too much into the hypocrisy of a member of the religious right now turning to science, I hope you see how wrong this is. But you might not.
"If the idea of chemically suppressing homosexuality in the womb horrifies you, I have bad news: You won't be in the room when it happens. Parents control medical decisions, and surveys indicate that the vast majority of them would be upset to learn that their child was gay. Already, millions are screening embryos and fetuses to eliminate those of the "wrong" sex. Do you think they won't screen for the "wrong" sexual orientation, too?"
I can understand this feeling of parents; I'm sure my parents feel it all the time. Not because they don't love me for who I am, but because they know how hard life has been and will continue to be for me. (There's also the whole "I might go to hell thing," but that's a topic for another post.)
Which is why ALL OF US need to work to make our society more acceptable of gayness. The sooner we start changing minds that being gay means a worse life, the less the possibility that chemically-made straightness will become widespread. We have time; research is still trying to find out what actually happens in sheep, so it will be some years before this is even remotely viable in humans.
But it is coming, and we need to be aware of that. And when we see prejudice against anyone, we need to stand up. Change is natural, so societal "values" can and do change. When being gay is no longer "considered disordered," then little gay and lesbian fetuses can grow up to be who and what God destined them to be. That's my prayer.
But the author, brilliantly, gets at something else. The science is increasingly pointing at hormonal factors in the mothers womb. Hence the title "The gay culture war is about to turn chemical." Some of the religious right is strongly advancing the idea that if you can chemically alter a fetus so that it won't grow up to be gay, then it should become standard medical procedure. Without delving too much into the hypocrisy of a member of the religious right now turning to science, I hope you see how wrong this is. But you might not.
"If the idea of chemically suppressing homosexuality in the womb horrifies you, I have bad news: You won't be in the room when it happens. Parents control medical decisions, and surveys indicate that the vast majority of them would be upset to learn that their child was gay. Already, millions are screening embryos and fetuses to eliminate those of the "wrong" sex. Do you think they won't screen for the "wrong" sexual orientation, too?"
I can understand this feeling of parents; I'm sure my parents feel it all the time. Not because they don't love me for who I am, but because they know how hard life has been and will continue to be for me. (There's also the whole "I might go to hell thing," but that's a topic for another post.)
Which is why ALL OF US need to work to make our society more acceptable of gayness. The sooner we start changing minds that being gay means a worse life, the less the possibility that chemically-made straightness will become widespread. We have time; research is still trying to find out what actually happens in sheep, so it will be some years before this is even remotely viable in humans.
But it is coming, and we need to be aware of that. And when we see prejudice against anyone, we need to stand up. Change is natural, so societal "values" can and do change. When being gay is no longer "considered disordered," then little gay and lesbian fetuses can grow up to be who and what God destined them to be. That's my prayer.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Oh, the Gays at Harvard
http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=522310
I was going to take some time (maybe like a week or two) before posting again, but reading this Fifteen Minutes article in The Crimson changed my mind. The subject of gay life at Harvard is particularly close to my heart, mostly because I spent a year and a half on the BGLTSA executive board, last semester as co-chair (go me!). Even though Boston's promise of an actual gay life was one of the deciding factors that convinced me to go to Harvard, during freshman year, I never participated in the BGLTSA or went to any of their events. In fact, I only ran for my publicity chair sophomore year because a good friend asked me to. But, I quickly became a devotee of the club and its mission, a result that has put me at odds with some gay students. I feel really strongly that the fracturing of the gay community into so many smaller clubs is not the best solution for our socialization problems. I believe that the BGLTSA, being the oldest, largest, and most recognized LGBT student organization, with its widely-worded mission, is best equipped to help bring gay students socialize, educate the straight community, and politically advocate for gay rights inside and out of Harvard.
I tend to agree with the article when it says most gay Harvard students who choose not to come out do so because they're so obsessed with their future. After all, gay business leaders, officeholders, and the other elites we hope to become some day are few and far between. We can't all be Tammy Baldwin. But I don't think that's a valid excuse anymore.
Personally, I think a lot of the closet cases who perennially gripe on Bored@Harvard about the BGLTSA types being "too gay" comes from deep-rooted jealousy that we have the balls to come out and they don't. I'm not saying that every gay has to subscribe to the BGLTSA list and come to all the events (though that would be phenomenal), but a little solidarity would be nice. We only make up a tiny part of the population, even at Harvard. We need to come together and stop self-segregating ourselves into the lesbians, the stereotypical white gay boy, etc. I, and so many gay friends, want to have an environment where we can meet the man, woman, or zemale (?) of our dreams. Sometimes, instead of dancing like there's no tomorrow (thanks Paula Abdul!), some of us want to take on the man, storm the Capitol, and run the rainbow up the flagpole. All I know is that staying together and talking out our differences, instead of walking away to start yet another student group, is the key to fulfilling all those dreams.
But we don't stay together. We let our inner divas come out in our open letters on the email lists instead of the dance floor, where they belong. Like the rest of Harvard, the gays suffer from too many chiefs and not enough indians. We all (myself included) want to be the head honcho, instead of reining in our sometimes-unbearable pride and egoism and work hard to get the job done. I get sad when I think of all the really great ideas that BGLTSA members have had that have died because we couldn't get enough people or interest to put them into action. I get angry when the walk-outs turn and criticize the Board for the deficiencies that their apathy and arrogance cause.
Fortunately, there is some hope, because Clayton, Michelle, and the rest of the BGLTSA board this semester are doing a really great job at trying to bring the community together and put on fun events. I hope they succeed and that I can go back to the gay Harvard I always wanted to go to.
I was going to take some time (maybe like a week or two) before posting again, but reading this Fifteen Minutes article in The Crimson changed my mind. The subject of gay life at Harvard is particularly close to my heart, mostly because I spent a year and a half on the BGLTSA executive board, last semester as co-chair (go me!). Even though Boston's promise of an actual gay life was one of the deciding factors that convinced me to go to Harvard, during freshman year, I never participated in the BGLTSA or went to any of their events. In fact, I only ran for my publicity chair sophomore year because a good friend asked me to. But, I quickly became a devotee of the club and its mission, a result that has put me at odds with some gay students. I feel really strongly that the fracturing of the gay community into so many smaller clubs is not the best solution for our socialization problems. I believe that the BGLTSA, being the oldest, largest, and most recognized LGBT student organization, with its widely-worded mission, is best equipped to help bring gay students socialize, educate the straight community, and politically advocate for gay rights inside and out of Harvard.
I tend to agree with the article when it says most gay Harvard students who choose not to come out do so because they're so obsessed with their future. After all, gay business leaders, officeholders, and the other elites we hope to become some day are few and far between. We can't all be Tammy Baldwin. But I don't think that's a valid excuse anymore.
Personally, I think a lot of the closet cases who perennially gripe on Bored@Harvard about the BGLTSA types being "too gay" comes from deep-rooted jealousy that we have the balls to come out and they don't. I'm not saying that every gay has to subscribe to the BGLTSA list and come to all the events (though that would be phenomenal), but a little solidarity would be nice. We only make up a tiny part of the population, even at Harvard. We need to come together and stop self-segregating ourselves into the lesbians, the stereotypical white gay boy, etc. I, and so many gay friends, want to have an environment where we can meet the man, woman, or zemale (?) of our dreams. Sometimes, instead of dancing like there's no tomorrow (thanks Paula Abdul!), some of us want to take on the man, storm the Capitol, and run the rainbow up the flagpole. All I know is that staying together and talking out our differences, instead of walking away to start yet another student group, is the key to fulfilling all those dreams.
But we don't stay together. We let our inner divas come out in our open letters on the email lists instead of the dance floor, where they belong. Like the rest of Harvard, the gays suffer from too many chiefs and not enough indians. We all (myself included) want to be the head honcho, instead of reining in our sometimes-unbearable pride and egoism and work hard to get the job done. I get sad when I think of all the really great ideas that BGLTSA members have had that have died because we couldn't get enough people or interest to put them into action. I get angry when the walk-outs turn and criticize the Board for the deficiencies that their apathy and arrogance cause.
Fortunately, there is some hope, because Clayton, Michelle, and the rest of the BGLTSA board this semester are doing a really great job at trying to bring the community together and put on fun events. I hope they succeed and that I can go back to the gay Harvard I always wanted to go to.
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