Friday, February 13, 2009

If This Isn't Love, Then Tell Me What It Is

L-O-V-E? More like an obsession, or many. Unhealthy? Most likely. Going to end anytime soon? Most likely not. Again, head-over-heels obsessed with presumably straight men. It's not that I'm not attracted to gay men, it's that the gay men I am attracted to seem to not be attracted to me. It's a sad, sad conundrum.

In happier news, this week saw a significant improvement in self-discipline. After being so disgusted at myself for sleeping until 1pm on Monday, I've been awake by 9:30 most days; more than enough time to get to class. Now, my goals are to not waste my weekends. Because with all my HoCo responsibilities (which I love), I need to really structure how I use my time. Since my days are filled with class and work (I have 6 hours of class on Thursdays, ew), and my evenings largely are devoted to extracurriculars, the weekends are the biggest chunk of time I have to do my mountains of reading for this semester and, eventually, work on papers. Indeed, after my last semester was so surprisingly academically successful, I can't help but wonder what kind of grades I'll get if I actually start papers sooner than the day before they're due.

It helps that I have external incentives for maintaining interest in my classes and keeping up with the work . For Gov 1790: American Foreign Policy, the fact that this is basically what I hope my job will be (assuming the FSOT on Wednesday went well, I think it did) is a damn good reason to do the reading (I actually really like one of our books, can't put it down!) and write good papers, starting with rough drafts and seeking TF advice.

For Gov 1295: Comparative Politics of Latin America, though the material is interesting and taking another Latin America-themed course last semester prepared me well, the biggest reason for me to go to class is the extremely hot TF, who set off my gaydar when I saw him the first day of shopping period. That's usually a bad thing, unfortunately, because I have notoriously bad gaydar, but I'm foolishly optimistic still. We'll see how it plays out.

French is getting more difficult, but I'm still committed to learning it. I purposely blocked my schedule around my fall section because I have the best TF.

And my last class is a gen ed (called the Core at Harvard), Literature and Arts A-17 - Childhood: It's Literature, History, and Philosophy. Basically, we analyze many of the books I read as a child. How awesome is it that my favorite childhood book, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, is on the syllabus for this class?! Unfortunately, there are a ton of other books that I'm too poor to buy right now, so I'm quite behind on the readings. But as far required lit classes go, I think I ended up with a pretty good option.

So class and HoCo has been my life the past couple of weeks. My birthday weekend was a brief, but very welcome interlude. Next weekend I'll be senior staff for Harvard Model Congress, a U.S. government simulation for high school students. My first paper (AmFoPo) is due shortly thereafter. Busy, busy. But please, friends, feel free to distract me. Above all, you give my life meaning. And that's love. Happy Valentine's Day!

1 comment:

darrenhe said...

Has anyone every told you that you have a really long index finger? I know it doesn't really go with this post, but I realized it the other day, esp. since you raise your index finger often.

Perhaps index finger = love. You know...think creatively.