And I can only blame myself. I had more money and more acquaintances in BA than I did last year in Barcelona. I had a ready-made family who were awesome beyond words. Even my internship had potential. But I chose the easy route and wasted it all away. Not to entirely discount the fun I've had with the friends I've made here, but there should be more to an international experience than clubbing. So, yes, the work I've done for my internship wasn't challenging, a bit boring, and pretty useless to the organization. But I could have done more, put a little more into it, instead of jumping on any excuse to slack off (I've feigned sickness so many times this summer). As for the rest, I have no excuse. The exchange rate made money so much less of an issue, I had people to explore with, I've had friends who have been here before. I had a family who was more than willing to give me tips on where to go and how to get there. And now with only one week left, I feel like I've cheated myself out of what could have been the best experience of my life.
But you'll notice the almost in my title. I still have one week left in Argentina. Not enough to turn everything totally around, but at least to start making amends. And then I have nearly a month in Boston. With a "real" job and most of my closest friends. And yes, the shame from these past 7 weeks. I can't let myself waste it again. The "real world" is fast approaching, and if I want my last semester to be the best it can be, I need to shape up before then. I've failed, but I'm not failure.